When you're diagnosed with a mental illness it is a bit different. There are often no easily distinguishable physical signs. There may be more subtle signs such as weight changes, taking new tablets, or lethargy but these can be hidden and explained away by sufferers. And its so hard for the sufferer to actually tell you they're unwell because of the shame and fear of being judged. This means mental illness can be kept secret by a sufferer. Can you imagine keeping heart disease a secret because you're ashamed? Should it be this way for mental illness? It's not that I'm saying it's in some way better to have a physical illness, god no. What I am saying is that all illness needs compassion and support to heal and the stigma around mental illness is a barrier to those who need that most.
It is only in recent years I have told my loved ones the true extent of my mental illness, but the lack of honesty has come at great cost. Being open and honest about suffering from a mental illness means you can reach out to others for help and support. I've been lying for years about why I am tried when I turn up at work, saying I didn't sleep well because the cats woke me up. Really though, I've slept for about 3 hours total because it took me 2 hours to get to sleep because I was having intrusive thoughts I'd harmed someone without realising it, or having traumatic flashbacks and nightmares. Perhaps if I said that to my work colleagues rather than "I don't know I just didn't sleep well, probably my own fault, I just need a better routine," I'd get the cup of tea and hug I actually need, rather than us all making idle chit chat about how no one seems to be able to get a good nights sleep these days. When I had my most serious mental health crisis I lied to my parents who were on holiday saying how well Uni was going, when I'd actually just dropped out and been diagnosed with OCD, for fear of letting them down and spoiling their holiday. However now I realise holidays are important, but the health of your loved ones is more so. I've also realised I'm not a let down, I suffer from a mental illness, they're different things.
Talking about mental health is so important because not only does it start to allow us to show the same care and compassion to those with mental ill health that we do with physical ill health, but also because it helps us get better. It is part of the cure. When you're unwell physically you problem solve together - you care for someone by working out how to make them more comfortable, what food to eat and how to get sleep and rest. This is what a mental illness needs. Love, care, support, discussion, and problem solving. How can we access any of that if we can't even tell people we're ill? And need I not remind you that 1 in 4 of us will suffer from a mental illness at some point in our lives, so being able to talk about mental health is important to us all.
We've been lead to believe mental illness is shameful and somehow our fault, but that's completely wrong. If I'd brought my OCD, depression, anxiety or trauma on myself then I'd be able to just think my way out of it because I must have thought myself into it... Well that's not right, is it? Mental illnesses ARE illnesses, not a self-induced state of mind. Please let's all get that straight right now.
Compassionista xxx
P.S. I must stress that these are my own personal tips and experiences. I am not a trained medical professional and these ideas wouldn't suit everyone. If you are concerned about any emotions, feelings or symptoms your experiencing, please seek the advice of a trained medical professional as soon as possible.
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